The Islanders pair up and disperse to local elementary schools every season to speak to thousands of impressionable Long Island students.
Over several years, across hundred’s of schools, some things never change
1. The Dolled Up Teacher – Something tells me those 4” heels aren’t your “everyday shoes” for teaching first grade. Also, those giant hoop earrings are just asking for trouble around grabby six-year-olds. They always have the same dark eyeliner and tight pants; the only thing that differentiates these lovely ladies is their creative excuse for finding some one-on-one time with the players.
2. The Over-Zealous Gym Teacher – I’m sure your third-grade student is the Wayne Gretzky of floor hockey and he can make a foam ball dance on his strait-bladed plastic stick like I wouldn’t believe. No, we can’t ask John Tavares to strap on goalie gear and stand in front of the taped-up outline of a goal on the cafetorium wall so your supposed prodigy can shoot on him.
3. The Token Ranger Fan – Thanks for wearing a Rangers jersey to the Islanders assembly. Also, thanks for asking a question that emphases your allegiance. Finally, way to turn into the most over-zealous autograph recipient of the bunch. No, they can’t sign your hand/arm/face.