Considering the likelihood that Justin Johnson, the Islanders Senior VP of Corporate Sponsorships, has a Google Alert set up for his name, it feels like a good time to make my case for Skates On A Plane to get an official sponsor or two (or ten).

What’s the payoff for JJ? The world famous Skates On A Plane twitter bump – good for about three (count em, three) new twitter followers every time I mention @JJohnson1969. This first mention was free JJ, but the next one’s gonna cost you.

Now, let’s get down to business.

The Traffic:

-    On a normal week, we’re looking at a couple thousand hits
-    On a week when I post a picture of John Tavares, we’re looking at tens of thousands of hits… the dude is like internet crack and I’m not ashamed to be a part of my readers’ debilitating habit

The Sale:
-    I accept cash, credit, personal checks, stock options, barter, merchandise, food, coupons, or best offer

Types Of Businesses To Endorse:
-    Small, mom-and-pop shops
-    Large, heartless corporations
-    Any business ending with “Mart,” “Benz,” “Cola,” “Tube,” or “family Pizzeria”

Types Of Products To Endorse:
-    Caffeinated beverages
-    Alcoholic beverages
-    Caffeinated, alcoholic beverages
-    Sports Cars
-    Swiss Watches
-    Designer Suits
-    Anything Deep Fried

Types Of Products That, In A Roundabout Way, Kind Of Make More Sense:
Be The Official…
-    Plane Gum of Skates On A Plane
-    Camera of Skates On A Plane
-    Cell Phone Provider of Skates On A Plane
-    Bus Company of Skates On A Plane
-    Private Jet Fleet of Skates On A Plane

The ball’s in your court JJ. As for any businesses looking to avoid the middle man, I’ll just say this: You’ll be surprised how far a piece of swag or free food will get you.

Let the bidding war begin.

- @JesseDEisenberg

While Celebrations in Winnipeg get underway, it’s worth noting that hockey fans from the Peach State weren’t the only one’s who lost with today’s announcement that True North Sports and Entertainment has acquired the Atlanta Thrashers…

With two away games next season diverted from Atlanta to Manitoba, the Islanders stand to lose:

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1. About 80 degrees Fahrenheit (I figure at least 40 degrees per trip)

2. Two hours of sleep (One following each game that starts at 7 Mountain Time)

3. Two free shoeshines at my favorite hotel

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One final note on the deal, courtesy of Wikipedia:

“According to Environment Canada, Winnipeg is the coldest city in the world with a population of over 600,000.”

I had the pleasure of escorting Matt Moulson and Jonathan Quick on their media tour yesterday at the NHL offices in Manhattan.

While this post was initially intended to be a behind-the-scenes narrative of their day, two important facts have come to my attention:

1.      The Islanders official site has great coverage from the event, including videos, photos and stories.

2.      Short, informative lists are much more readable and fun…

Without further adieu, here are five Top-5 lists pertaining to their trip to NYC.

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List 1: The NHL Offices are decadent, because of…

1.      The panoramic view of midtown

2.      The flat screen TVs lining the walls, which constantly display images of players, taped and live games, and NHL/Versus/TSN hockey programming.

3.      An entire wall made out of old hockey sticks (which did not prevent the requisite hanging of multiple flat-screen TVs)

4.      The replica of the Hockey Hall Of Fame’s Stanly Cup room, complete with plaques for every championship team (pictured)

5.      Enormous paintings and sculptures of players and NHL logos

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List 2: Moulson lost his cell phone, but didn’t panic because…

1.      He remembered tweeting from the car, so it couldn’t have gone very far

2.      It was not in the library, where his first interview took place

3.      He didn’t have faith in his driver, who didn’t see the phone in the back seat at first glance (Editor’s note: it was in the car).

4.      With one tweet already under his belt, he’d already exceeded his daily average

5.      Who needs a phone when you have a PR guy?

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List 3: Lunch at Del Frisco’s Steakhouse was a nice perk because…

1.      The NHL picks up the bill (or as some might argue, Trevor Gillies/your favorite suspended player picks up the bill)

2.      Even for professional athletes, lunch at a fancy steakhouse isn’t an everyday occurrence

3.      It’s one block away from the offices (extra points because it was raining)

4.      NHL VP of Player Development & Event Communications Jamey Horan reserved the table and accompanied the boys, ensuring the full VIP treatment

5.      I haven’t had a steak since the season ended

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List 4: The After Party, which did not happen and I’m completely making up, was awesome because…

1.      Happy hour is alive and well in NYC

2.      One of the Olsen twins was there

3.      We all got matching tattoos

4.      NHL players don’t always make it through the velvet ropes, so Moulson and Quick wisely relied on their PR guy, who oozes “street cred”

5.      No place does better late night food then Carnegie Deli

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List 5: Unlike in this post, you can find useful information about the day…

1.      here for a story on Moulson and Quick’s relationship

2.      here for a photo gallery of their tour 

3.      here for Moulson’s outlook on the 2011-12 Islanders

4.      here for Moulson and Quick’s appearance on NHL live

5.      here for a story on Moulson and Quick playing against each other

With Nassau County Executive Edward P. Mangano announcing his plan for a “world-class sports-entertainment destination center” today, I thought the future building’s designers could use a few suggestions from a guy that’s recently taken a pretty comprehensive tour of the NHL’s best arenas.

I won’t bother with the requisites of today’s modern arenas, like wide concourses, decadent executive suites, and a full service spa and luxury resort - I mean - locker room.

Here are a few things from around the league that I’d like to see become a part of the Isles new home:

Boston’s Dessert Cart – The best way to the media’s heart is through its stomach, and Beantown keeps its journalists happy with a decadent dessert cart, located right at the entrance to the press box. Even if the Bruins lose 10-0, no one can bring themselves to write a negative story after devouring a massive slice of Red Velvet cake.

Florida’s Parking Lot – Picture the coliseum’s lot, but with palm trees and sunshine. It’s virtually impossible to not tailgate.

Chicago’s Anthem – Nobody does the National Anthem quite like the Windy City. The entire crowd screams throughout the entire song, creating an electric atmosphere before the puck drops.

Ottawa’s On-Ice Video – The Senators play their entire opening video on the ice with a high-tech projection system. There’s something about seeing your favorite player’s tooth-less grin stretching from goal-line to goal-line.

Carolina’s Press Meal – Not to make this all about food, but no one does a better press meal than the pulled pork geniuses at the RBC Center.

Atlanta’s Pyrotechnics – Every time

Atlanta scores a goal, two giant “Thrasher’s” blow fire balls, high above the ice. You know what make more sense than a fire breathing Thrasher? A fire breathing Sparky the Dragon.

MSG’s Benches – There’s no real divider between the player benches at the Garden; really, the only thing that keeps the opposing clubs from sharing a bench is a rolling stick rack. It’s only a matter of time before this arrangement brings new meaning to the term “bench-clearing brawl.”

New Jersey’s Youth Hockey Jersey’s – The Devils display hockey jersey’s from every high school and youth hockey team in the state throughout their arena. As a Jersey native, it was very cool to tour the concourse in search of my old sweater, though it wasn’t where I expected to find it, in the rafters.

Pittsburgh’s PR Office – It’s literally in the locker room, separate from the rest of the front office. ‘Nuff said.

Montreal’s Dogs – Did I say I wasn’t going to make this whole post about food? I can’t leave this one out because our players and coaches demand a case of Montreal Hot Dogs after every game. The dog itself is pretty typical, but the buttered, grilled bun makes it legendary around the league.

From the wide world of non-NHL arenas and stadiums…

Dallas Cowboys’ Scoreboard – The Cowboy’s 28-foot high, 50-foot wide High-Def scoreboard is an attraction in itself. I’d buy a ticket for Disney On Ice just to see the mammoth screen in action

New York Mets’ Concessions – There’s no reason New York staples like Shake Shack, Blue Smoke and more shouldn’t be available on the concourse at an Isles game. Plus, this entry was really lacking a good food-related suggestion.

This blog is based loosely on the notion that being around the Islanders is phenomenally entertaining. In fact, my whole job is loosely based on that notion.

So what happens when you take a six-person communications department that’s used to spending hours a day (and night) at the rink, and chain them to their desks in the windowless bowels of the Coliseum?

We restlessly attempt to make our own fun.

It started innocently enough with an NHL playoff pool – we figured, “what do other office workers do for fun at work?” and gambling felt right.

Next we designed our own t-shirts (see below for previous post), because what’s a summer camp without arts and crafts?

Things took a turn for the strange with an admittedly weird, albeit amusing twitter game “Name these Isles Eyes” (pictured).

Then yesterday, fueled by about two dozen Cinco de Mayo tacos, the department rode a 10-foot wave of delirious and jumped all over @grabner40’s twitter hash-tag “#Kimberslife.”

Kimber, of course, is the head of our department, who’s renowned for his machine-like work ethic and ability to work on zero hours of sleep.

Feel free to search the hash-tag on twitter to browse our best shots at our boss.

It’s only the beginning of May, so I’m getting pretty concerned about what we’ll be coming up with in August.

Needless to say, this blog and this department are desperately awaiting the start of the players’ summer community appearances, which are sure to provide more entertaining content.

In the mean time, any advice from office-vets is welcome.

Coming Soon to the Islanders Team Store at Sunrise Mall in Massapequa:

This beauty is a lock to sell out in minutes. No official word yet on when it’s hitting the shelves, but it should be within a few days. The shirt is not available online, but long-distance fans can call the Islanders Team Store at Sunrise Mall (516-795-0131) to have it shipped.

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In completely fictitious news…

Coming Soon to the trunk of my car in the parking lot outside the Coliseum:

This beauty is a lock to sell one or two, depending on whether my Mom gets one for my Dad, or just for herself.

Just a few ideas for the team as the first week of the off-season sets in…

1. Re-introduce yourself to your girlfriend/wife and kids… Before hand, do your best to remember their names, hobbies and interests.

2. Nix the afternoon nap: in the season it’s efficient, in the summer it’s just lazy.

3. Track your calories: I’m pretty sure you won’t be burning 80,000 a day anymore.

4. Stock up on produce with confidence that it won’t spoil while you’re on the road.

5. Stop lying about your injuries (“Limp? What limp?”).

6. Work on your famous “insert-adult-beverage-here” recipe.

7. Catch up on TIVO.

8. Help your favorite PR guy write the post-season media guide.

What did I miss? - @JesseDEisenberg

Micheal Haley experienced something on Thursday night that most NHL players have only dreamed about: He convinced agitator Sean Avery to drop the gloves, connected cleanly on his first shot, and kept it up for a clear cut “win,” as a sellout crowd chanted his name.

The best part about the whole thing to me is that tonight might not have even been Haley’s most exciting game of the year. In his season debut against Pittsburgh on February 11, the 5’ 10” tough-as-nails forward scored his first career NHL goal, buckled a pair of Penguins during consecutive line brawls and then went after goalie Brent Johnson. Was that the best season debut in Isles history?

There’s something to be said about the guys that shine brightest in big games.

In Isles movie news, we watched the first half of “The Town” last night on the bus ride to NJ. The movie was supposedly shot in English, but the cast laid on the Boston Accents so thickly that most of the team would have probably been better off with subtitles.

I think it’s safe to say that New England boys Jack Capuano and Scott Allen were the only one’s to understand every single line. Non-native English speakers like Grabs, Nielsen and Parenteau struggled in the back of the bus without Quincy’s own Mike Mottau there to translate.

For fans of Zenon Konopka and Arty Verdi’s nightly wrestling match:

Tonight the equipment assistant’s long pondered “fake blood” idea came to fruition, as he exploded a ketchup packet in his hands while clutching at his face midway through the bout.

He had Konopka fooled for about a half second, before the centerman retaliated with an even more one-sided fake beating than usual. Verdi still classified the match as a “win.”

I’m still trying to convince the duo to throw a folding chair into the mix.

Entourage star Kevin Connolly is along for the ride this week for the Islanders’ three-game, six-day trip to Carolina, Florida (Sunrise) and Tampa Bay.

Today he joined scratches Doug Weight, Trevor Gillies and Mark Streit for their afternoon workout with Strength and Conditioning Coach Jesse Demers.

According to Demers, Connolly held his own with the sidelined Isles, but probably won’t be able to walk tomorrow.

I wasn’t feeling creepy enough to snap a picture today at the gym, but stay tuned - I’ve got a whole week to work on my stalker mentality and lose my shame.